Deciding that it’s time to file for divorce is never easy. The situation becomes even more stressful when children are involved. Figuring out how to tell your children that you are getting a divorce is never easy. However, it can be done and should be done with both parents present. It’s never a good idea for one parent to have this conversation with the children and not both at the same time. A New York City divorce attorney can help guide you through this difficult conversation.
Schedule a Time for the Discussion
Make sure that you and your spouse both have the right date and time scheduled on your calendars for this discussion. Leave plenty of time, in the end, to answer questions from your children and help them through their emotions. Do not rush through the discussion, which means it shouldn’t happen right before they leave for school, before you go to work, or before anyone has to leave the house for an errand, doctor’s appointment, or another event.
Be Honest With Your Children
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to telling children you are getting divorced. Do not sugarcoat what is happening or why. Explain to the children that it is best for you and their other parents to go their separate ways. Do not give your children the false hope that you might be able to save the marriage or wind up getting married again in the future.
Answer Their Questions
Children are naturally inquisitive. This will not suddenly disappear when they are told that their parents are getting divorced. Answer their questions the best that you can so they understand what to expect during the divorce. Some questions you might face include the following:
- Will you live in a different house?
- Will we still get to see grandmom and grandpop?
- Will we celebrate holidays as a family?
- Where will we live?
- How will we get to school?
- What do we tell our friends?
- Was it our fault?
- Do you still love us?
- What can we do to fix this?
Encourage Their Feelings and Emotions
Make sure your children know and understand that it’s perfectly normal to feel sadness, anger, and frightened with the news of divorce. Be sure to encourage their feelings and emotions so they do not hold all of it in and release it at a later date. Let them know that it is normal to cry, scream, and be upset with what they were told. On the flip side of things, make sure they know that violent outbursts will not be tolerated.
Seek Assistance from a New York Divorce Attorney
Do you have questions about the divorce process in New York? If so, it’s time for you to speak with an experienced New York City divorce attorney from Randi L. Karmel, PLLC. Contact us for a consultation to discuss your unique matrimonial or family law matters by clicking here or calling us at 212-755-0224.